Football, even when played perfectly, is a disorderly affair. You may have heard basketball compared to jazz, or soccer referred to as “the beautiful game.” Baseball is a gentleman’s game. Football will show up at Thanksgiving with a bottle of Schnapps and a box of fireworks and just see what happens. The ball is an elongated sphere, a shape not found anywhere in nature. It is team chaos in a cage. Cliches exist for a reason, and the Cowboys’ win over the Commanders on Sunday was not only the epitome of “that’s why they play the games,” but also “that’s why you watch the games.”
The first half was not just boring, it was also horribly performed. Throughout this season, these Cowboys have been so dull, so conservative, so lifeless, that watching them play felt like a four-hour Zoom call with corporate that you can’t get out of. I didn’t think it could get any worse. Then along came the first half of Sunday’s game. Team Tank had to be a bit worried as it witnessed backup quarterback Cooper Rush put together two solid drives to open the game, but emboldened that both efforts ended in a couple of rare missed field goals from Brandon Aubrey, one of them blocked. On the next four drives, the Cowboys ran 14 plays for a total of 26 yards with a fumble before salvaging a field goal at the end of the half to tie it at 3-3.
The defense was elite (almost) all afternoon. After surrendering a 70-yard touchdown drive to open the second half, it produced three straight three-and-outs and a forced fumble on the first play of another possession, a turnover the Cowboys parlayed into a 20-9 lead with 5:16 remaining. What happened from there? Well, your uncle remembered he had those fireworks. We’ve all watched a lot of football, and I have never seen anything like what transpired from there. Whether you were hoping for the Cowboys to win, lose, or somehow defect from the NFL and start their own football league, it was impossible not to be on your feet for the final stretch of this game. A silly 99-yard kickoff return for a touchdown by KeVonate Turpin. A comical 87-yard score from Commanders quarterback Jayden Daniels to Terry McLaurin that should have tied the game with 21 seconds left, if not for the missed extra point that preserved a one-point lead. An onside kick foolishly returned for a touchdown by Juanyeh Thomas that gave Washington one more shot at a Hail Mary.
The Commanders have a bright future, especially when you consider the black hole of hopelessness and despair they existed in under former owner Daniel Snyder. Despite a rough patch in which they’ve dropped three straight, and concerns over Daniels’ durability, or the shelf life of offensive coordinator Kliff Kingbury’s offense, their arrow is pointing up. Most Cowboys fans would do a full organizational swap–ownership, general manager, head coach, quarterback, roster–if given the chance.
But as it stands, this is an average, inexperienced team. And it was playing a team that is average on its best day and prone to costly mistakes. That equation is the only way an NFL game unfolds the way that Sunday’s did, which had much more in common with a college game with a late Friday night kickoff. Two good teams could not have taken to market a product as boring as the first 30 minutes of “action;” two good teams would not have authored an effort as tipsy as the final five.
From an actual takeaways standpoint (no pun intended), a few things stand out. The Dallas defense entered the game ranked 30th in EPA/play with a run defense that was approaching historically bad levels. On Sunday, it dominated Kingbury’s offense, finishing with the second-best defensive EPA/play in Week 12. Without the usual hindrance of trying to defend in a lopsided game, the pass rush was formidable. Micah Parsons led the way with a pair of sacks and several pressures. The interior of the defensive line showed up, DeMarvion Overshown continued to look like a real piece for the future, and 27-year-old cornerback Josh Butler filled in dutifully for Trevon Diggs. It was just one game, but Butler competed at a level that fellow fill-in and rookie Caelen Carson had not proven capable of.
The run game was also a bright spot, giving Rush a chance to operate the offense. Rico Dowdle finished with 19 carries, one shy of his season high. Mercifully, the offense is no longer trying to force-feed Ezekiel Elliott, who now has just 10 carries over the last three weeks. Coming into the game, the Cowboys ranked a distant dead last in yards per carry on first down at 3.2 yards. Against Washington, that number jumped to 3.6, which would be roughly league-average. This is the exact script that worked well for Rush two seasons ago when he was called into action: a dominant defense and a passable rushing attack. The EPA and per-snap averages on both sides of the ball on Sunday were almost identical to those from Rush’s 4-1 stretch in 2022.
When we discuss starting quarterbacks, outside of the truly elite, we debate what sort of pieces they need around them to be successful. For some reason, despite the fact that this would logically apply more to backup QBs, we don’t really do this. When Dak Prescott got hurt, some people clung to “well, Rush went 4-1 as a starter before, maybe this won’t be so bad.” Rush is not a bad backup; he is also not a good one. On days where the defense shows out and the run game gives him a chance, he can keep his team competitive.
Which is something third-string quarterback Trey Lance has shown absolutely zero ability to do as a professional. You can argue the Cowboys should be playing Lance to figure out what he might be capable of, considering they ponied up a fourth-round pick for that very opportunity. (I don’t care what Stephen Jones says about the move being insurance for not re-signing Prescott; that was never going to happen.) Playing Lance would also satisfy Team Tank and improve the team’s chances of picking in the top five of the draft. But no one can say with a straight face that Rush doesn’t give them a better chance to win. The Joneses and Mike McCarthy are correct about that.
Let’s consider an alternate universe where Prescott is suddenly healthy and able to play on Thanksgiving and beyond. Let’s assume the defense continues to play well and Dowdle can be somewhat effective. The Cowboys would still most likely be the underdog in the same games that they’ll be with Rush under center.
This season was not lost when Prescott went down. It was lost in the offseason, step by step. We just didn’t fully realize this until, I don’t know, eight minutes into Week Two. This is not a playoff roster, and it definitely is not a contending roster. The entire coaching staff is about to be replaced. So if you’re going to watch, you might as well hope your uncle accidentally lights the box of explosives all at once, because at least you’re going to laugh. And on Sunday, I laughed a lot.
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